Goal # 1 set by Master

Be better prepered for anal sex by learning to wear my buttplug under my clothes within 72 hours of being told.

He's giving me 72 hours notice because the act has been bothering me, painfully bothering me.

My time is up Saturday night. I'm going to try to be ready Friday, not necessarily to get it over, but to succeed at his goal faster.

This weekend being back in collar and in your service was amazing and it was all I could do a few times not to cry in joy. We both admitted this weekend that we've gotten away from it and need to reclaim it.

I fiddled around until I determined my password and got back into these old journals, including my sweet submissions and sweet's lessons.

As your loving slave, I respectfully request to be given goals again, and accept whatever rewards or punishments you will give in my completion or failure of them. I know where Mistress Abernathy's book is, but I believe in the years we have been M/s we have grown together and you probably no longer need her help.

I have added you as a author of this blog and I will check this blog as directed to see any goals you may have posted. Goals I will post here... lessons I will post in the lesson blog - unless you prefer I combine them for your ease.

All my love forever,

Your sweet

Why is it inappropriate for me to yell at Master?

1. It was my choice to live a TPE dynamic.
2. In general, it is disrespectful. In my M/s relationship it is contemptuous and impertinent.
   
3. Master is in control.
4. As my owner, he is the only one who can give me permission for such an outburst.
5. As a slave, I have given up the choice to scream and have temper tantrums without prior permission.
6. As a wife it is unfair and rude.
7. As a mother it is ugly and not something the children should hear.
8. My temper and outbursts were the reason behind the force driving us towards TPE, so that I can and will be held accountable for my outbursts.
9. When I am told to calm down, stop yelling, and shut up... I should listen.
10. The more I argue or continue to be unruly, the more punishment I am adding upon myself.
11. Above all, I should respect the freedom of expression granted to me by Him and not abuse it with such childish outbursts.

Lessons 5-7

Master has graciously allowed me to skip lesson 5 and take my time on lesson 6.

Lesson 5: Health assessment. We have been together so long he knows everything I do, and probably remembers more than me anyway.

Lesson 6: Slave contract. We have a working contract but are taking time to reaccess.

Lesson 7: Obedience 1: first steps towards mindfulness.
Exercise After reading but without looking around first, close your eyes and name three things behind you, to your right, left, and in front of you. name something.

I did this in my mind and am now typing.
Behind: Master's server, my green craft case, my wooden desk.
Left: my pink binder with class work, a diaper box with bead supplies, the trashcan
Right: Printer, black folding table, closet
Front: 2 monitors, pink lamp, keyboard

Activity 1: Meditation technique.

This was extremely hard with a screaming toddler, but I took the time to do it today when I needed a time out. The point is to focus inward on your breath, calming your mind, and observe your thoughts. Master has been trying to get me to do this for a while. I was glad to have this lesson.

Activity 2: posture and stress.
Set an unobtrusive alarm for 11 past the hour. when it goes off bring your attention to your physical posture. Where are your hands? Are your leggs crossed? Is your back straight? your jaw tense? Do you feel any pain in your body? Are you moving any part of your body (jiggling, chewing on a pencil, tapping)? After accessing your physical state, take the time to relax any tension you have found.

Unable to complete as of yet. Speaking to master re: timing.

Activity: play the game "Memory" to develop better observation skills.
I have found several at GamesGames.com. Having fun :)

Lesson 4 - Responsibilities of a slave-in-training

Re: Communication - SPEAKING to your Master and opening up to answer questions, in order to accurately and unselfconsciously describe your own state of mind.

(typed in notepad and not edited other than to correct spelling and punctuation, as per book instruction)

• I imagine myself as a slave to be able to... submit fully, on command, to anything my Master desires.
• As a slave I wouldn’t be able to ... orgasm without Master's permisssion.
• The idea that these things might be forbidden makes me feel... sexy and full of desire.
• Just once in my life I would like to ... have multiple orgasms without having to force it.
• I definitely would not want to… experience forced anal sex.
• In my sexiest private fantasy, I am irresistable.
• I have a secret fetish for... feet.
• Being in a collar would make me feel... secure.
• If I were forbidden to have an orgasm for a whole week, I'd... be ready to tackle Master at the end of the week, and to hell with the consequences.
• When I masturbate, I often think about... Master eating my pussy.
• I'd like to learn how to... have multiple orgasms.
• Serving Master in public would make me feel... scared, but naughty.
• My most erotic memory is... the first night I got my girlfriend *** in bed.
• I first learned about erotic slavehood when... I walked in on a friend spanking herself for her online Master.
• My favorite book is... Vampire of the Mists.
• My Favorite movie is... Dracula 2000 OR Queen of the Damned.. it's a 50/50 toss up.
• In my free time I most often... read or surf the web.
• The thing I find most attractive in other people is... confidence.
• My highest priority in life is... to see my children succed in their chioces in life.
• Sometimes I doubt I'll ever be able to... be even close to the perfect wife, mother, or slave.
• I think most of my romantic involvements have been... shallow.
• In the past I was ashamed of... my bisexuality and submissive desires.
• I feel I have come to terms with... both by opening up and allowing myself to admit it.
• If there is one negative emotion I cannot handle it is... grief.
• When a person raises their voice to me I... go in the offensive and yell back.
• The three things I associate with silence are... sleep, late night outside, and death.
• If pressed, I'd identify myself as... closed.
• The biggest influence on my erotic life has been... BDSM.
• I'd describe my spiritual life as... secluded and personal.
• I believe strongly that... one's life is their own to chose what to do with, who to let influence it, and how far to take their dreams.
• I'd fight for my right to... have an opinion on my life.
• I've only ever wanted to... succeed in something I believe in.

OMG!

Master said he'd get me to do it and he did.. I haven't squirted since we were dating and humping like teenagers in the back of his import, LOL! Ah.. any way W-O-W and O-M-G!

That was FUN!

Thank You, Sir!

~Sweet

Lesson 3 - Assessing strengths and weaknesses

Exercise: List five things you do very well...

1. parent
2. cook
3. write
4. create jewelery
   
5. perform oral sex
   

Exercise: List five things you don't know how to do, but would like to learn...

1. drive
2. type exclusively without looking at the keyboard
3. speak Spanish
4. have multiple orgasms
   
5. control my breathing as a relaxation technique
   

Exercise: List five things you are embarrassed about not being able to do well...

1. RELAX DURING SEX!!
2. style my hair
3. organize
4. completing time consuming tasks in full before starting another
5. entice more women playmates to our open bed to play with us both
   

Exercise: List five things you do but would never admit to in public...

1. Even though we are in an agreed swinger lifestyle, I can only come for my Master/husband ( i feel gooooooood.. but can't come)
   
2. I sit around in my pajamas all day most days.
3. Only wash my hair about once a week, sometimes twice.
4. I prefer watching lesbian porn than guy/girl porn.

Activity: In the next week, choose one of the items from the second list - things you'd like to learn - and research how you might begin to learn it.

There isn't much thought to this. I will find my driver's ed book and begin studying at least every other night after schoolwork. I will be ready to take my test for my permit in 45 days.

Lesson 2- What kind of slave am I?

In this lesson i learned that i am suited for a housekeeping servant, with sexual and personal escort tendencies. (but we already knew that)

When one thinks of servitude in this lifestyle, sex is the assumption. Domestic servitude is about caring for Master and meeting His every need, be that His need for clean jeans, a hot meal, a cold drink, sweaty sex, or a quickie with His favorite personal secretary perched across His lap.

Serving is about giviong yourself freel to all His needs.

Lesson 1 - What is a Slave?

Exercise. twenty words, phrases, images, or associations that come to mind when you hear the word "slave." Two minutes.

**transferred from notebook**

• HIS
• Love
• giving
• taken
• owned
• slave collar
• pain
• apanking
• sex
• caring
• safe
• "personal safe-word" (not listed for obvious and other personal reasons)
• hold
• surrender
• handciffs
• bound
• wonderful
• trachings
• lessons
• written
• talk to Master truthfully
• freedom
• openness
• Ready
• willing
• submissive

Activity: Write an affirmation of your right to consent. Place it where you will see it several times daily.

my affirmations: **mostly copied from notebook, more added after more thought on the subject**:

• i have the right to give myself freely.
• i choose to give the gift of my service to better myself and others.
• i accept the gift of servitude as an acceptance of myself.
• i control my destiny.
• i choose that destiny to include the teachings of my Master.